X & Y
by piratequeen24
Summary: Teenagers never know what they want and they have a difficult time expressing themselves. A little help and guidance never hurts, especially from a trusted mentor. Yaoi one-shot!


**A/N**: So this is a totally random song-fic written between the hours of 12 and 3 am, so forgive me if it seems rather sporadic and/or has any errors (I did try to edit it, but I'm kind of tired haha)

One of my favorite pairs, and since my actual Kisuke/Ichigo story is taking forever to finish, her's a little something on the side :)

**Song**: _X & Y_ by Coldplay, **Characters** from Tite Kubo's _Bleach_

* * *

Mindless. Mindless wandering.

Thinking about nothing, acting without thinking.

Ichigo strolled slowly, through the forest with no goal, no destination, no purpose.

Not quite lost. Definitely not finding anything.

Not even searching.

Feelings pour over him, though him, never staying long enough to be understood.

Youth, complicated, confusing youth.

Emotions with no purpose, feelings with no source.

Desires, unnameable and unexplainable.

Not enough words, there are never enough words to describe anything.

His "resolve" as Urahara would say, was solidified in his blade.

His sword, his strength, spoke for him.

**Trying hard to speak and  
Fighting with my weak hand  
**

He thoughtlessly arrived at the small shop, a place where he'd received training, advice, and even a moment or two of peace.

Standing in the rain, he stared at the doors, and then turned to leave.

While walking away, he slowed to a stop. The sliding sound of an opening door carried through the rain, then the tap of a cane on a wood floor followed.

Ichigo shivered. Peculiar, unexpected, and yet undeniable.

He turned and met the eye of the shopkeeper, just the one eye peeking out from under the brim of his hat.

Leaning against the door frame, Kisuke Urahara nodded.

**Driven to distraction  
It's all part of the plan**

Ichigo's return nod was slight, almost indecipherable.

The rain was running down his face, his arms, his hair. Water soaked every part of him, unnoticed until he felt the scrutiny of the other man.

Turning, he walked away, purposeful this time. He tried not to hear the phantom footsteps behind him, tormenting him.

Urahara would not be following him, not out into the rain on a Saturday night, not when there was no explanation or reason.

Not when he, a hopeless teen, had nothing to offer. Nothing, that is, other than his sword.

His skill may give him purpose, but it didn't give him a sense of belonging.

He didn't belong anywhere or to anyone.

**When something is broken  
and you try to fix it**

In the forest, Ichigo found his feet finally stopping beneath him.

Had he just fled? In fear, in confusion, or in shame?

Neither one was acceptable.

The rain had stopped; daylight seemed to be looming on the horizon. Or maybe those were just the city lights casting their light into the sky.

How long had his feet carried him, how long had his mind run aimlessly though everything and nothing? How long ago had he left the shopkeeper standing on the porch?

Ichigo fell to a seated position on the grass, leaning against a tree and pulling his knees to his chest.

Comfort, in some small form.

"Finally stopped wandering?" A voice carried out to him from a few feet away, and Ichigo relived the shiver from earlier that night, helpless to stop it as it caused goose bumps to rise on his still damp skin.

**Trying to repair it anyway you can**

Saying nothing, Ichigo tucked his head down between his knees. He knew it looked weak. He detested weak.

But he had nothing to say.

He felt a hand grab his shoulder. Then two hands, one on each shoulder. They slowly began massaging the tension out of him.

Tension Ichigo hadn't even realized he carried with him. Like the thoughts that ran rampant through his head, the tension had gone mostly unnoticed.

"You'll catch a cold wandering through the rain for hours." Urahara's voice softly broke the silence, at once both tentative and steady. When Ichigo said nothing, he spoke again. "Did you achieve what you hoped to achieve?"

Ichigo finally picked up his head, helplessly lured by the hands easing his body's strains to release other anxieties via his mouth.

"I had no goal."

"Yes, you did." Urahara said, never ceasing his massage, and then asked again. "Did you achieve it?"

Ichigo's mind, for hours unable to grasp a single thing, finally caught a fleeting thought.

**I dive in at the deep end**

"I don't want to be alone."

The words escaped without permission.

"You're not alone." Kisuke countered easily, slowing his movements and moving to sit behind the boy and against the tree.

Unable to help himself, Ichigo leaned back against the warm, larger body. Kisuke's hands wrapped around him in response, with an ease that suggested it happened often.

Which it did not.

**and you become my best friend**

Ichigo couldn't find any words, could once again barely grasp any thoughts that were relevant, thoughts that made sense. He settled for a sigh, leaning his head back onto Urahara's shoulder.

"It may not seem like it, but you're more than a tool." Urahara said, seeking to eliminate issues Ichigo didn't even know had built up in his mind. "Even to me, you're more than just a tool."

There was a moment of silence, before Urahara felt compelled to add, "Though people do like to use you as a tool, if only because you seem to be quite effective."

Ichigo said nothing but continued to stare at the sky.

He had been right, dawn was approaching. The sky was slowly turning to a lighter blue that hinted at the presence of the sun. Birds, already awake, chirped and echoed above the two men seated in the grass.

Out there, under the trees, the past few minutes had given Ichigo more peace of mind than hours of solitude.

**I want to love you but I don't know if I can  
I know something is broken  
**

"How do you know what to say?" He finally asked, interrupting the bird song above.

"Because I was young once too," Urahara said, his voice just a breath close to Ichigo's ear. "And because I know you."

"How can you understand me better than I understand myself?" It was a question, but Ichigo expected no answer.

Because he didn't know what to expect, he simply expected nothing.

Urahara's hand lifted Ichigo's chin and turned it so they could look into each other's eyes.

"Because I pay attention."

Their lips met.

Ichigo let it happen.

He let the older man control the kiss, so soft and tentative and yet firm in its intention, and Ichigo again relaxed into the other man's arms and against his chest.

**and I'm trying to fix it  
Trying to repair it anyway I can**

Drowning in sensation, inundated with feeling.

For someone who had been feeling and experiencing little other than emotions and actions that ran on auto-pilot, Ichigo was easily overwhelmed. Urahara took advantage.

Slipping a hand up under the younger man's still-damp shirt, he lightly caressed the abs that lay beneath. The stomach rippled in response, and Ichigo let out a little sigh of air he couldn't quite contain.

It was like watching a robot some to life, like a statue taking its first breaths.

"You're much, much more than a weapon to use against the enemy." Urahara said once again, lips meeting the juncture between the younger man's neck and shoulder. "You are a friend, and ally, a companion." He nibbled his way up to an earlobe, tugging on it lightly before whispering,

"You could even be a lover."

**Oooohh, oooohh  
Oooohh, oooohh  
**

Those skillful hands under his shirt were causing a stirring Ichigo was both familiar and unfamiliar with. Never had he experienced the rush of desire at the hands of another, and he hadn't expected the first time to be at the hands of a man. Especially not this man. Yet now, he felt like a fool for not seeing what had always been in front of him.

As a finger slowly rubbed over his nipple, lightly brushing an area he'd never realized was so sensitive, something in Ichigo finally seemed to spark. Turning in the other man's arms, Ichigo meshed his lips slightly less gracefully against the other mans.

Taking control, Urahara smiled slightly into the kiss as he shifted to pull Ichigo's legs so that they were straddling his own. Ichigo pushed his hands up against the other man's chest, sliding down so that his hand brushed at the hem between pants and shirt.

Firm hands but tentative movements, eager and yet unsure.

"Urahara?" He met Urahara's gaze, asking permission to take it further.

**You and me are floating on a tidal wave… together  
You and me are drifting into outer space  
and singing**

"Call me Kisuke," the blonde smiled, leaning in to once again catch the smaller man's lips with his own, teasingly pulling at the fuller bottom lip when he leaned back. "And don't ask my permission, do whatever you feel like doing."

Ichigo surprised him by immediately pulling of his own shirt, bearing a beautifully sculpted smooth chest that Kisuke had seen before only when training. Appreciative hands couldn't help but trace the contours of the muscles, causing ripples of movement and slightly more noticeable breaths of air.

Ichigo was curious, anxious, excited. Close to the blonde, he was noticing things he'd never noticed before. The absence of the hat allowed him to admire the gentle, intelligent, passion-glazed eyes that were currently roaming his chest and slowly working up to his face.

"You're a beautiful man." Kisuke breathed with a slight smile, which Ichigo returned before slipping his hands under the other man's shirt and swiftly removing it.

**Oooohh, oooohh**

They took their time, memorizing each others bodies.

No hurry, no rush.

As dawn slowly broke, the two men slowly explored each other.

When they were both naked and Ichigo was lying on his back in the grass, Kisuke grinned down at him. The grin worried Ichigo, but worry slipped away as the other man's mouth slowly trailed down to his hip bone, nipping it.

When he reached the peak of his erection, Kisuke hovered, shooting his eyes up to meet Ichigo's before shooting out his tongue for a teasing lick. The sight of the orange haired boy overcome with momentary pleasure, eyes closing in rapture, hands grabbing at the grass, inspired him to continue the task set before him.

**You and me are floating on a tidal wave… together  
You and me are drifting into outer space  
**

By the time Kisuke was ready to burst, he'd already managed to stretch Ichigo until he comfortably took two fingers inside him. Twisting firmly, enjoying the pleasured look tinged with a hint of tension, Kisuke slipped a third finger in sharply. The following groan snapped any of his remaining control.

Ichigo shook his head, disoriented yet firm, when the other man had moved to enter him. Surprised, and barely able to pull back, Kisuke hesitated.

Ichigo surprised him with a push, and Kisuke landed on his back in the grass with Ichigo straddling his hips.

"It'll hurt more if you do it this way." Kisuke warned on a groan as the other man took his swollen, desperate erection into his hand, grinding it briefly against his own.

"I'm sure I've had worse." Was his only response, lifting his hips and slowly impaling himself on the shaft. Grunting, Kisuke fought the urge to drive up into the tight, warm heat.

Torture, trying to remain completely still, but worth it.

So worth it, Kisuke thought, smiling and groaning as he watched the beautiful, passionate, pained and desperate expressions cross Ichigo's face as he filled himself completely. Once he had lowered all the way down, he lifted his eyes to meet Kisuke's, lips lifting into a slight, momentary smile.

Kisuke couldn't stand the challenge, grinding his hips up against the other mans and moaning in satisfaction at the groan that echoed around them and through the forest.

Reaching down, Ichigo grabbed a handful of grass on each side of Kisuke's head, letting their lips meet briefly before lifting up and slamming his hips back down.

**You and me are floating on a tidal wave… together  
You and me are drifting into outer space  
and singing  
**  
The mindless, thoughtless, passionless life was gone. If only for a moment, Ichigo found reprieve in the arms of a man he could trust. In the arms of a man who could at least pretend to understand.

**Oooohh, oooohh**

What he didn't realize yet was that the other man, Kisuke, would not be satisfied with stolen moments of pleasure and bliss.

He would take everything Ichigo could give, everything Ichigo didn't know he had to give, and return it tenfold.

Kisuke could teach him not only how to live a life devoid of listless emotion, but how to love.

And love, he would find, made all the difference.

**Oooohh, oooohh**

* * *

**A/N: _Please review_, **I'm curious to see what you all think!**  
**


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